tegel flughof, you will feel my wrath (a mini rant in prose)

i can only write this in point form because i am seriously flagging here.

* wake up, get nice email from M.B.
* check and double check transportation to airport
* get on u-bahn, thinking i have only 1 bus transfer to make
* realize at the last u-bahn stop that i have to catch 2 buses to get to Tegel
* time is nigh approaching boarding time. i am still not near Tegel
* thinking to myself: wow, the only time i have ever missed a flight because i was late was in vancouver on my way back to grande prairie and that was because my aunt said we had loads of time to get me to my flight. air canada apparently did not agree.
* take other connecting bus
* arrive Tegel
* stand around bewildered. think that this is the worst-organized airport i have ever been in. i am certain the airport in inner mongolia (should i ever get there) will be more user-friendly
* stand behind 8 other people at information counter
* ask where do i go to catch my flight
* guy points toward terminal A and says gate 6
* i say, yes, but where do i get my boarding card.
* he says you get your card at the same gate you board through.
* i think: this airport sucks
* go to gate 6 of terminal A - the sign says air berlin is leaving from here. i am sterling. am beginning to wish i had taken a cab, because i am really pushing it to make this flight
* finally get attention of gate agent who tells me that i have to go to gate 6, terminal B.
* i inwardly groan. run to terminal B
* terminal B is a wasteland. there is no one in sight except a few straggly-looking travelers (like me) who are cursing their fate that they leave from Tegel and not Schonefeld.
* gate 6, terminal B looks like it's closed and might never re-open
* wrong place. wrong time. i am not getting on this flight. i look at the time. the flight is leaving in like 10 minutes. i don't have a boarding card. i haven't been through security. it's just not going to happen.
* i go to the first ticket counter (and p.s. these are all randomly interspersed all over the airport too, like the boarding card / gate situation) that looks reputable (british airways in this case) and ask if they flights to copenhagen because i missed mine
* woman looks up on her computer and says well we don't fly there from here.
* i think: is copenhagen not a big city. is berlin not a big city. are you not british airways. did you guys have an empire that the sun could never set on. and oh how the mighty have fallen - no flights between berlin & copenhagen. argh argh argh.
* she says well there is one flight on scandinavian air leaving at 9:50, you could make that one. but the ticket price i have from here is really pricey. you should go bug lufthansa because your other flight (with sterling) was cross-listed with lufthansa.
* okay.
* i run to the lufthansa ticketing counter which is in middle earth, Tegel.
* hello hello. i need a ticket for copenhagen. i missed my flight on sterling.
* okay well you have to buy a new ticket. you can't just convert your old one.
* yep, i know that. rub salt in the wound, lady.
* buy new ticket (can forget about putting that down-payment on that skateboard i wanted since i'm burning through euros like they were yesterday's stretched-out scrunchies)
* get on plane.
* breath sigh of relief.
* 55 minutes later, arrive copenhagen.

a few more points about Tegel airport.

>> could people here move any slower? whether they are travelers or employees of airlines or the airport, they have a nonchalance about them that would be fine on a dance floor. but this is not a dance floor. this is a zoo. this is war. this is all about making your flight and not paying 7000 euros for a new one.

>> could people here be any more oblivious? yes, those are nice shiny objects. yes, they are attractive. sure, they make you want to go over and look at them. but why don't you look to see how many people you are taking out before you stop short and freakin' cause an accident. oh and don't bother to actually realize that you've caused problems. just go on and be your freakin' merry self. jerkface mcgillicuddy.

>> could this airport have any better design structure? unlike the prototypical airport where there is a central area for obtaining boarding passes, a central area for passing security (or several areas) and a number of gates on the departures level that can be easily followed once you've passed security, Tegel airport has decided to take the alternative approach of chaotic chaos. as the most egregious of these:

a. why would Tegel put the boarding pass area in one place, when i can run around like an olympian looking for my gate (oh, not my gate to board -- no, no that would be so simple...my gate to go get a boarding card), which is pleasantly interspersed with every other airline's boarding areas and with signage you can't read even if you had superman's vision.
b. why would Tegel bother to have information desk people who give you complete information. if buddy at information had been so kind as to not point incorrectly toward terminal A but rather to point or say correctly gate 6, terminal B, i would have still made my original flight. if lady at terminal A, gate 6 hadn't been so slowly meandering through issuing boarding cards, maybe she would have noticed my frantic hand-waving for help earlier, thus ensuring i got to terminal B, gate 6 earlier. or, hey bothering to radio ahead and say there's one passenger on her way.

i'm telling you this whole german organization and efficiency thing is riding out some past glory. because there is nothing organized or efficient about Tegel airport.

i'm going to have to write a letter. i didn't want it to come to this. but this is absolutely unacceptable operators of Tegel airport. you will feel my wrath as i write my letter in blood!