an open letter to den haag busdriver

dear bus driver of the no. 18 clingendael-bound bus at approximately 11:40 pm, 29.07.07:

mr. congeniality, you are not. not only were you the meanest, rudest f*ck in the city (no mean feat, my friend), but you also drove your bus like a maniac. in a word, you suck. why did i get on the bus from the middle doors, only to be berated by you? because your colleague last night refused to open the doors at the front for me, since i was about a nano-second late after the doors closed. it would be nice to know with some certainty precisely where at the stop you will actually stop your bus. it would be even nicer to know that bus riders had more than 0.000005 seconds to get on the bus. lest you speed off recklessly, possibly knocking over a few elderly people in your path. no wonder people are grumpy here. they all have prosthetic body parts from random bus accidents. so sir. i refuse to apologize for my seemingly gauche actions. i succeeded. not only did i get on the bus last night, but i also succeeded in making it home without leaving any organs on the roadway. huzzah for me.

anyway, i just wanted to thank you for being an as*hole yesterday.

with all due respect,

r.m.